Giving UP

Why do we go to college? So someone can can hand us a piece of paper worth a bajillion dollars? How lame. We jump through so many loops to be "certified". I know why so many people drop out of college. High school was hard enough, and now I need to go BACK to school for four years? Don't worry, I'm not dropping out of college (doesn't mean I haven't thought about it).

I have experienced credit overload, and I have ended up dropping one of my classes. I wasn't sleeping and I never got to see my friends (which isn't THAT important). I was falling behind in all my classes and I was receiving "F's" is more than one class. I have gotten most of my grades up, but it has been a struggle.

Today while doing my incredibly fun math homework, I wanted to give up. I came across this one problem and I couldn't finish it! I got half of the problem, but then I couldn't figure out the other half. Instead of giving up, like I usually do when it comes to math, I took a deep breath and I looked at the problem again. After a minute of throwing it around in my head, I finished the problem! Thank the LORD for having the answers in the back of the book!! Anyways, once I finished my math I realized how easy it is for us to give up, me especially. I feel guilty when I don't finish something, but sometimes I get so frustrated that I can't see the process through. My math problem was like an eureka moment for me. I can't give up any more. 

Let me clarify though, I don't give up on everything. The only things that I give up on are homework. Which is bad because I am paying for my tuition and I kinda need this education for my future, but... I'm not a quitter. Not for work, not for family, not for working out; just homework.

Speaking of working out.. I ran my first 4.5 mi. stint the other night! I'm still sore, and I feel absolutely wonderful. I collapsed in my yard once I finished my run and I had probably the stupidest smile on my face. I am still smiling! When I first started running, I was struggling for my mile. Then I was struggling for my mile and a half. I posted a picture on Instagram (typical {only time ever}) and I wrote about it, but I realized I got the mileage wrong. I said the most I have ever ran was 3 miles, but in reality it was 2.5 miles. I mean, I added on two whole miles to my run and I feel great. I've been so afraid of failure and inadequacy (pertaining to running) that I don't push myself. Deep down I knew that I could go further than 2 miles because I was never satisfied with how far I've been running. There was this hunger inside me to go further, but I just quit when I got to a certain point. No more. Now that I know what I can do, I will never be satisfied with running less. 

Oregon, don't give up and put those miles in. Where you start doesn't matter, it is where you end up.

w/love,

Kela